Care Packages

Sorry it has been a few days since I have written anything, this last week has been hectic. I had a request to write about care packages (what to send and what not to send) so here ya go.

First off, when he first leaves it will take at least a week if not more for him to settle in and find out his exact address. Yea I know, it’s annoying and I am sure you are ready right now to start sending things off to your love. Be patient and in the meantime you can always start putting your boxes together and filling out the awesome custom forms (insert sarcastic voice here).

Here is a list of stuff you can send that he will ALWAYS need:

Baby wipes: You can never go wrong with those. Depending on where they are, they won’t get to shower very often. So in the meantime, baby wipes are the next best thing.

Powder Drink Mixes: These are awesome!! All they have to do is add these to water and they’ll have a yummy drink. Since the packages are so small, you’re able to send a bunch of different flavors from lemonade to fruit punch.

Candy: I don’t even need to elaborate on this one. Who doesn’t love candy?

Yummy Goodies: You can send brownies, cookies, rice krispies treats, and so on. BUT don’t forget that mail takes anywhere from 3-6 weeks to get to there…and sometimes longer. So make sure that the snacks you make won’t go bad in that amount of time. One thing that helps is to vacuum seal the container you send it in.

Socks/Boxers: Always a necessity.

Beef Jerky/Crackers/Chips: Any kind of snack food they will love. Even if he doesn’t like what you send, someone there will appreciate it.

Now here are some things that he might not necessarily need but he’ll appreciate:

DVD’s: It’s always nice to have something to pass the time. If he doesn’t have a computer or portable DVD player to watch it on, most likely someone else there will.

Tobacco: The ban on sending tobacco to troops overseas was lifted in August of 2010, so it is ok now to send chew and cigarettes to your men.

Phone Cards: This one all depends on where they are. Some bases have a px where they can buy a phone card but some do not. I would recommend sending a rechargeable phone card so they, or you, can just go online and buy more minutes whenever needed.

Pictures: I HIGHLY recommend sending pictures for your man to put up around his sleeping area. The more pictures he has the closer he will feel to home. If you want to send “racy” pictures, I would suggest sending a CD with them on there. Sometimes the packages are opened before getting to your guy so unless you want your pictures seen by other people, I would be careful how you send them. But I do suggest sending that kind of picture also. He’s lonely over there, help a guy out J

5-Hour Energy Shots: The name explains it all. They work crazy hours and sometimes are up for a couple days at a time. They need all the energy they can get.

Lotion/Chapstick: The weather conditions out there suck so their poor skin is going to be battling a lot or sand, rain, snow, and crazy temperatures. Good lotion and chapstick are a must.

Electric Blanket: Not all bases are heated so this definitely will come in handy, especially during the winter. I know that is breaks my heart to think of my husband going to bed cold at night.

What NOT To Send:

Alcohol: OBVIOUSLY. To be completely blunt, if you are thinking about sending him alcohol or he is asking for it, shame on both of you.

Drinks: You can send cans of soda or energy drinks IF you want but I wouldn’t suggest it for the obvious reasons of it exploding in the box. If you do decide you want to send them make sure to wrap them in individual baggies in case they do explode they wont ruin anything else you are sending.

Right now this is everything I can think of off the top of my head, if you have anything else you can think of please feel free to add it in a comment. This website will help you a lot: http://www.usps.com/supportingourtroops/welcome.htm

In The Beginning...

So now he’s gone. The plane has taken off, your phone hasn’t left your side, the house is empty, and you feel lost. Now what?

It’s not the end of the world, I promise, although it might feel like it. If this is your first deployment you’re probably feeling scared, lost, hurt, sad, lonely, and even a bit depressed. That is all normal and in time it will hurt a little less and you’ll get more used to the routine.

What To Expect: The first couple of weeks are always a little hectic. Right now, most likely, your thoughts are primarily based around where he is at and when he can call next. I can’t really tell you what exactly to expect because I know that every situation varies. Different branches fly to different places as do different units in those branches. Expect at least a few days before your first phone call though. They are jumping from state to state, country to country, and airplane to airplane, with not a lot of time during the transition. (Let me add in real quick, I am married into the Army. I do not know what deployments are like for other branches. This is just what I know from 3 Army deployments.) They have a lot they need to do while they are slowly making their way to where they will be spending the remainder of their deployment. Also, expect calls at random times throughout the day and night. While they are en route they are traveling through tons of different time zones and the each flight takes a different amount of time so they are touching down at all different hours. Once you finally get that first call, expect lots of excitement, tears, questions, and I love you’s but don’t expect a long conversation. There are a lot of guys that just got off that flight as well that will be anxious to call their families also. So most likely you are going to get just a few minutes to find out where they are, how they are doing, and to hear them complain about how boring the flight was. That will change as well once they are at their base and things have calmed down a bit. One more thing to remember is to expect the unexpected. Things will not always go the way you or your loved one wants them to. The dates for R&R will change at least a couple times before a for sure date is chosen, once he is on his way home flights can be delayed and he’ll be home in 10 days instead of 5, he will tell you he will call you tomorrow but something will come up and it will take him a few days longer than expected, and the phones/internet will sometimes cut out or not work all together. These are just hurdles. Try not to get frustrated.

What It Will Be Like: This one all depends on the person. For some people, it is horrible. The transition from having him home all the time to coming home to an empty house can be very difficult. It will be sad and at times you’ll wonder how in the world you are going to make it through the next year without them, just stay strong, it gets easier in time. I will warn you though there is a deployment curse, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Don’t worry, I am not talking about with your deployed love, I mean at home. The toilet will flood, the oven will break, lights will burn out, and the lawnmower will run over a rock, it will shoot out and break your car window. It happens to everyone; well maybe not those exact things but you know what I mean. These things will definitely test how strong you are. Now for other people though, the beginning is the easiest; it takes a little longer to sink in for them. At first it just kind of feels like a long business trip or vacation. The deployment starts to feel more real the closer they get to R&R and when they are home for good. You’ll get anxious, want everything to be perfect, and start freaking out when things aren’t going your way. Trust me, it happens to everyone. On a good note though, you are going to realize during this time just how much you really love your man and how very proud you are of him. You are going to glow with pride when people ask you about him, you’re going to get giggly and excited when he calls, and you are going to smile from ear to ear when you see his handsome face on Skype. It’s an amazing feeling.

How To Cope: Friends, family, and fun. The 3 F’s. Sometimes you might feel a bit guilty for going out and having fun while your significant other is fighting a war but do you really think he wants you to just sit at home sulking? No, he doesn’t. Enjoy your life. Pick up a new hobby. Join the gym or take Zumba classes. Start scrapbooking highlights of your relationship: trips, milestones, or even just your goofy pictures together. This will help you to feel closer to him. Or you can make a slideshow of those pictures that you can send via email for him to enjoy also. Find a good support group also. I cannot even begin to explain how much it helps to be able to talk to fellow wives/fiancés/girlfriends that are going through the same thing you are. In my opinion, this is the best way to cope while he is gone. You can also start writing in a journal; write about your day, the reasons why you love your man, or even just random thoughts you are having. You could even start a blog, I hear that helps too  Also, don’t be afraid to cry. There are going to be days when all you want to do is lay in bed and be sad. That is perfectly fine. You’re loved one is on the other side of the world fighting a war, you have every right to be sad. No one expects you to be strong all the time, most women can’t even begin to understand what you are going through yet alone go through it. So break down, cry, punch your pillow, and scream. Do whatever makes you feel better, we won’t judge you.

Just remember that believing in yourself and having faith that you will make it through this deployment is half the battle. Once you can do that, you can do anything.

Me In A Nutshell

I feel that before I continue writing about different subjects I should take you all back about 7 years and let you get to know me a better.

Lets start at 18. Before then my life was just the life of a typical teenage girl: I was a brat, a pain, and I put my parents through hell. Sorry mom and dad! That is exactly why I am praying I never have a little girl. I can't even imagine a mini-me. Scary. Anyway, I moved out of my parents house 2 weeks after I turned 18 and that's when my life really got crazy.

Not long into my first year out of my parents house I got into a very unhealthy relationship and he ended up moving into my apartment with me. A lot of girls talk about how stupid other girls are for staying in an abusive relationship but until you are in the position, you have no idea how hard it can be to get out of it. 2 years later I finally decided enough was enough and I got out. I learned a lot from that relationship but the most important thing that I gained from it was Alex, who at the time was my boyfriends best friend.

Alex was in the Army and graduated boot camp the day that him and I met. As much as I would love to say it was love at first sight, it wasn't, at least not on my end. He quickly became my best friend. Later on, one thing led to another and we ended up getting together. Let me just add that I was living in Washington at the time and he was stationed in Ft. Campbell, Kentucky. So our relationship started out long distance, which as all of you know, is not easy.

Not long after Alex and I got together I started considering joining the Army. My job was taking me nowhere, I was partying way too much, and I was spending way more money that I was making. I wanted to do something meaningful with my life and I had tons of respect for people in the military. I wanted to show my support in the best way I could think of. So I went into the recruiting office and signed the papers to be a combat medic (68W). By this time Alex had deployed and we were enduring our first year long deployment together as a couple. Due to medical issues, it took me about a year of doctor visits before I could leave. A couple months before I left for boot camp Alex came home from his first tour to Iraq. Sad to say but he came back different. Within the first month of being home he made some bad choices, one of which included cheating on me. We broke up and it was heartbreaking for me but with leaving for the Army, I figured it was probably for the best. But it still hurt like hell.

Boot camp was awesome. Challenging, hard, scary, and rough, but I grew from it and ended up really enjoying it. 9 weeks later, I graduated and headed off to San Antonio, Texas  for my AIT (training school). I'm gonna jump though this one quickly, not really something I enjoy talking about. AIT is where I met Robby. Keep in mind I got to Texas in the middle of May. By time July rolled around we were in love...or so I thought. I know all of you can see where this is going. May we met, July we got engaged, and September we got married. Yes, I was one of those girls. You know who I am talking about, the one that everyone talks bad about and makes fun of. Who can blame them though? The military makes it very hard to just be boyfriend and girlfriend, ESPECIALLY if both parties in active duty. Well I moved in with Robby in November, moved out in December, and filed for divorce a little while later. Needless to say we were one of the many military couples that didn't work out. No surprise there. We didn't know each other at all. How well can you really get to know someone in just 4 months? You can't and you can argue me all you want but I know what I am talking about.

So now I am divorced, living in Southern California, and trying to start a new life for myself. (Let me answer a couple quick questions you might be having: I moved to North Carolina to live with Robby and moved back to Washington when I left him. I ended up in California because a girl I met in boot camp convinced me to move down there to help me start a new life.) I'm having fun, working, playing, enjoying the sun, and dating. Life doesn't get much better than that right? Wrong. Something for me was missing, it was Alex. By this time it was 2009, and we had been dating off and on for the last 5 years. And yet again all I wanted was to be with him.

Now I can sum up the last year and a half pretty quickly. Alex and I got back together, I moved back to Washington, spent a majority of 2010 with Alex (in Kentucky and in Washington), got engaged, got married, now he is on his 3rd deployment, and I am patiently awaiting his return. He is the love of my life and I couldn't ask for a better husband.

With all that said, when I talk about the military, deployments, rushing into marriage, and relationships, I know what I am talking about. I have been through it all. The only thing I will not claim to know anything about is having a child. I haven't experienced that joy quite yet. So I hope you enjoyed my life story and please don't hesitate to ask any questions or ask for any advice. I have a lot of experience under my belt.

I'll leave you with this...I know times can be hard, life throws us a lot of curves, and sometimes you might just want to give up. But you WILL survive, I promise. Never give up.