I am officially taking the day off of life today. It is just one of those days I want to be alone. Not because I am sad or lonely or depressed but because I just feel like reflecting. So many people say not to dwell on the past and to forget about it but sometimes I think it can be a good thing. Your past is what makes you who you are, it is what helps you make the decisions you make today.
Today I am thinking a lot about my past: experiences I have had, people I have dated, places I have been, and friends I have had. I am thankful for the things I have been through, good and bad. They have made me a better person in the long run. I wouldn’t be where I am, who I am, or married to who I am married to if it weren’t for some not so great decisions I made in my past. There are things I have done that I am not proud of but I am glad I did them, I learned from it. There are also things I have done that I am extremely proud of, things that make me realize I sometimes forget how strong I am. I have loved and lost and fought for what I wanted. Sometimes I wonder why things worked out the way they did and what went wrong in relationships and friendships. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to change the way my life turned out at all, I’m just reflecting today.
There are things about my past that I miss at times but I know they are in my past for a reason so I am going to keep them that way. Plus I love the way my life is. I have a great family, some wonderful friends, and the most amazing husband. And I wouldn’t trade any of that for anything in the world.
So with that said, I am going back to my “Me” night. A candle lit bubble bath sounds amazing. And tomorrow I will go back to trying to organize my life and all the crazyness in it.