Rummaging through my computer a few days ago I found a love letter that I started to write to Alex almost 3 years ago. I have no idea why I never finished it and gave it to him but I want to share it with all of you even though it is not finished.
You have no idea how many times I have tried to write this letter to you, but ended up starting over. I have so much to say to you but no idea how to put it into words. It all sounds so nice in my head but I am afraid if I try to write the words that I am feeling, I'll end up diminishing them.
I remember hearing so many wonderful things about you before we even met. I was so excited to meet you. They were right, you were wonderful, but the more time we spent together talking the more I started realizing that those wonderful things they had said about you didn't even begin to scratch the surface of how truly amazing you really are. You started to grow on me :) I loved hanging out with you and after you left, I loved talking on the phone with you. I even changed my phone plan to a long distance one so we could talk more. I remember calling my house from work at 24-Hour Fitness multiple times a day waiting to see if I got a letter from you, and if I did I would beg my mom to drive it all the way out to 164th so I could read it right away. I fell for you so fast. You were unlike anyone I had ever met before. You were such a jerk but so sweet and caring at the same time. I was crazy about you and I never thought that 4 years later, I still would be. Except it's grown into something much more now, I am so in love with you.
In more ways than one, you have saved my life. We have been through an unexplainable amount of things together. You have been so patient with me through all my stupid mistakes and you have stood by my side when I needed someone the very most. You are so unselfish."
It stops there. The love I have for that man amazes me, but the love he has for me though is a rare and special kind of love. He has loved me at my best and even more so at my worst. He has stood by me during the times that any other guy would have turned his back on me. I am very blessed to have him in my life.
Reading stuff like this reminds me of how very lucky I am to have someone like him. Having him gone has helped me to appreciate him so much more. I am constantly surrounded by people who don't realize how lucky they are to have their husbands/boyfriends around all the time. So many people take advantage of the time they spend together. The military life is definitely far from glamorous and it is definitely not for everyone but one of the things I love about it is that it has taught me to truly appreciate the time my husband and I have spent together. Not everyone has the luxury of waking up every morning next to their man or picking up the phone and calling him whenever you want. So if you do have that....appreciate it, don't take advantage of it.