Change Is Inevitable

Some people fear it and some embrace it. Some people try to prevent it, while others try pushing it. No matter how you feel about it though, it will happen. Change is inevitable. It’s all in how you choose to handle that change and make the best of it.

“I believe that we don’t have to change people if we understand that people change.”

I don’t remember where I read that quote but I will never forget it.

Deployments are a scary time for multiple reasons, one of which is change. A lot can happen in a year. You’ll change, your other half will change, and your relationship will even change. Don’t be afraid of it though, embrace it and accept it or it can ruin you. A deployment can make a relationship or break it. That decision is primarily up to you.

You’re going through one of the biggest and hardest changes of your life. From talking and seeing each other everyday to talking maybe once a week can definitely take a toll on a relationship. You’re used to picking up your phone and texting whenever you want and now you can’t do that anymore. Let’s not forget about going to sleep in an empty bed at night now. All of those changes suck. You can either accept it and make the best of it or you can try to fight it causing more pain and heartache. Don’t let it break you down though, look for something positive in it all. I’ll give you a little example: How many girls do you know that still get butterflies when they see their s/o’s number on caller id? Being away from someone for a long time makes you realize what you have and keeps you from taking advantage of the time you have with the one you love. I think a lot of people take advantage of having their loved one around all the time.

War will definitely change your man. Whether it is a big change, a little change, a good one, or a bad one. It will happen. They are seeing and experiencing things that we can not even begin to understand. Be patient and try not to push for answers and explanations. Let him know that you are there for him when he decides to talk about it all but make sure you let him do it on his own time. I will say this though, if you are starting to see a large negative change (lashing out, abusive, suicidal, or depressed) that is when you need to talk to him about seeking help.

Be prepared for more change once he is home. Adjusting to having him back can be challenging for both of you. You’re used to doing things your way and now he is jumping back into the mix of regular life again. Again, be patient with it all. You’ll both adjust eventually; just don’t expect everything to go back to normal over night.

Bottom line: Change is inevitable. Learn from it and learn to love it. When you dedicate your life to someone in the military your life is going to change constantly but one thing will always stay the same: the love you share for each other. Love never fails.

Ctrl +A, Delete

Yea, I just did that...to an entire blog I wrote on love, the definitions of love, the difference between usages of the word love, and a couple things I love to love.

But I deleted it all. Tonight, love is just a confusing subject to me.

When you love someone, don't you want the best for them? Don't you genuinely care about their well being? Shouldn't you feel the same way about that person no matter how far away they are or how long they will be gone? In my opinion, the answer to all the questions above should be yes. Apparently though, not everyone feels the same way.

Since I am having horrible writers block I am just going to bullet point what's on my mind.

• A mother that loves her child should want what's best for the child even if it isn't necessarily what makes the mother happy. You're main priority should be what makes your child happy and what is in his or hers best interest. It's called being selfless. Love is selfless.
• I love my husband and he loves me. If it were any other way, chances are high we would not be married. He knows me better than probably most of my friends do and he has known be for a very long time. If he had a problem with the way I am, yet again, we would probably not be married right now. So if he doesn't have a problem with the way I act then neither should anyone else. Who are you to judge? He trusts me. Love is trusting. 
• Not everyone is perfect, we're human. When we love someone we choose to accept that person for who they are. That includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. Deployments are a prime example of this. Unless you have been deployed, you have no idea the things they go through out there. It is inevitable that they will come back different in one way or another. Everyone has some sort of baggage. Whether you choose to accept that is up to you. If you truly love someone you should love their faults, their imperfections, and everything that goes along with them. Love is unconditional. 

Now think about this: What do you love? Or better yet, who do you love? Are you showing them the type of love you would want to be showed? Are you being fair to them? If you answered no to either of the last 2 questions I have one more for you. Do you really LOVE them?