Project Smile: The Conclusion

I know you are probably wondering what happened to days 9 and 10. Well guess what? I am too. Time has been escaping me lately. I swear it was just last night that I was posting day 8 with all the pictures in it. And now look, we're on day 11, although the project was only supposed to go on for 10 days. I love how fast time is going by. Next month I have so much going on, I swear it is going to be the fastest month of my life. My cousin is going to be here the first week, our 3 month anniversary is on the 7th, Valentine's Day is the 14th, my DOM will be at 50%, and in between all that I have Zumba 4 days a week. Before I know it, it is going to be time to go to Hawaii in April/May, then time to move to Tennessee in June, and then....HE'S HOME!! Looks like I will need something to keep me busy all through March. Maybe I will start a project...any ideas?

Ok I am getting off the subject. I am not going to go into details what I did on days 9 and 10 because, well honestly, I don't really remember. I know I had good days though. I had Zumba, went shopping, ordered some new bathing suits for Hawaii, and had a girls night with my best friend and her wonderful sisters. You know what feels amazing? I can't even remember the last time I cried. I think my project has been a HUGE success. I have been so happy lately. Let's see: 7 good days, 1 bad, and 2 sick. In my opinion that is pretty awesome!! Just a little side note, this is that one week this month that I really shouldn't be in a good mood at all. So guess what mother nature?! IN YOUR FACE!! What have I been saying this whole time? I control my mood and I choose how I am going to feel, no one else. Yes, there have been things that have upset me in the last 10 days. There has been friend problems, family drama, and of course the missing my husband with every ounce of my body feelings, but I refuse to let it bring me down.

Now, here I am, just a couple days before February 1st, and I can't even believe January is almost over. Thank you God, hubby, friends, family, and Zumba for helping me to stay busy and active. And thank you deployment for helping me to realize just how blessed I am and showing me how strong I am.

I am going to make this blog short and sweet. My bed, my puppy, and Iron Man 2 are calling my name. I'll end with this though: Pay Attention Ladies!! You are SO much stronger than you think you are. Your job is one of the toughest jobs in the world and you don't even begin to get the credit you deserve for doing what you do and doing it DAMN well. You should be proud of yourself. When you walk down the street or the halls at school, you should hold your head high because you are amazing and unique. You are doing something that not very many women can do. It takes an amazingly strong and independent woman to love a soldier. Next time you look in the mirror, smile and remind yourself that you are beautiful, you are strong, and you can handle ANYTHING that is thrown your way. I believe in you, your man believes in you, so the most important thing now is that you believe in yourself.

Project Smile: Day 8

For Day 8 I think I am going to do things a little different than I have been this last week. I spent a large majority of today in a bad mood so it is definitely going to fall under the "bad" category but before I go to bed I am going to attempt to put myself in a better mood. Nothing is worse than falling asleep angry. So for this blog I am going to post some pictures of things that have made me happy and tell you a little about what's going on in them.

*Mom*Me*Dad*
Ft. Jackson, South Carolina in May of 2007. Army Basic Training graduation. I will NEVER forget this day.

*Nikki*Amanda*Me*

Pacific Beach, California in March of 2010. Sometimes I really miss living in California and I definitely miss both of these girls!

*Alicia*Me*
Disneyland, California in October of 2009. Of course this picture makes me happy....it's Disneyland!!

*Danielle*Me*
Yokosuka, Japan in January of 2005. 2 of my good friends and I traveled to Japan for a random vacation and it was an amazing experience. This picture was taken outside of the naval base in Yokosuka.

*Heathee*Me*
Vancouver, Washington in July of 2010. This is my best friend on her birthday!! I love her more than anything.

*Me*Alex*
Last but definitely not least, the love of my life. I don't know what month this was taken but I know it is from either 2005 or 2006. This has always been one of my favorite pictures of us.

Everyone is allowed bad days, we're human. Today sucked, plain and simple. Looking through my pictures has helped put me in a better mood though. I've had a lot of great times in my life and experienced a lot. I've lived in 7 different states, traveled to another county, been in the military, been divorced, and married my best friend. And I am only 25 years old! Are you able to look back at your life and say that you have truly lived? I can, and I still have so much living left to do. That makes me smile :)

Goodnight World!!

Project Smile: Day 7

Wow, have I really been doing this for a week already? Time sure flies when you have something to keep you busy I guess. It also goes by much faster when you learn to appreciate the good things you have in your life instead of dwelling on the negative. Easier said than done, I know. I definitely recommend trying it though. This last week has had it's ups and downs but at the end of the day, when I look back on the events of the day, I realize that I have so much in my life to be grateful for. Not everything goes the way I want it to all the time and there is some stuff that I would like to be different, but everything that is thrown my way is a situation for me to learn from and a chance for me to grow. Things aren't always perfect, but how boring would life be if it was? Here are the things that made me smile today:

#1: Have you ever seen the movie Bucket List? Well I have my own "bucket list". For those of you who haven't seen it, it's a movie about a guy who is dying and he has a list of things he wants to do before he passes. It's a really good movie. Anyway, the #1 thing on my list is to make a difference in at least one persons life. I want to change someones life in a positive way. Whether it is being a shoulder to cry on for a friend in need or helping a complete stranger. I just want to make a difference to someone. Lately though, I am starting to think that I have already accomplished my #1. The comments, messages, and emails I have been getting from my friends are really touching my heart. I have tried my hardest to be there for the girls that I know who's husbands are deployed and it makes me feel so good to know that there are a few of them that I have really helped. I don't want anyone to think that I do it for recognition though, I honestly do it because I know how hard it is to have a loved one overseas and I know how much it helps to have someone who understands what you are going through. I want to be an encouragement and I just want people to realize that they are so much stronger then they give themselves credit for. I would like to thank those of you who have written me lately, you might not realize it, but your words have made a difference in my life. For all of those who are starting to doubt themselves and feeling like they can't make it through hard times in their lives, just remember this: "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" -Famous words of Winnie The Pooh :)

#2: This one is gonna throw you for a loop. I am scared to death of fish, I mean like anxiety attack afraid. Along with that fear, I do not eat fish. I don't like fish sandwiches, fish and chips, or fried fish. BUT I LOVE sushi. Weird I know. I could eat sushi everyday for the rest of my life and be the happiest person ever. Mmmm just thinking about eating it is making my mouth water. Anyway, I had sushi today with one of my favorite girls and it was so much fun. She's new to sushi so it was awesome taking her to my favorite place and showing her all of my favorite dishes. We also had some great conversation which is always nice too. I am pretty lucky, I have awesome friends.

#3: I know I have written about this one before but I seriously LOVE Zumba! After being sick all weekend, I was going through some serious Zumba withdrawals. So I went to class tonight and it was amazing!! There were a couple times where I felt a little lightheaded, I think I am still slightly dehydrated from being sick. It's crazy how much I feel it in my body when I don't go to a couple classes. When I move to Tennessee I better be able to find a class that is as good as the one I go to now.

So here I am, at the beginning of Day 8 and already I am off to a great start. I've been getting to talk to Alex a lot lately which has been so nice. I don't get to hear his voice, which sucks, but we are able to chat online. So yayyy for have another successful day on Day 7 and here's to hoping for an even better day on Day 8 :) Cheers!!

Project Smile: Day 4, 5, & 6

I am so very sorry I have not been updating this as often as I said I would, I have been really sick and finally just now feeling like myself again. I am going to warn you now that this will probably happen a lot with me, I am sick more than anyone I have ever met in my life. So I am just going to say that days 5 & 6 don't count in my project because although my days were bad, I was not sad or upset for any reason, just sick. Day 4 was great though, I will tell you about all about it.

Day 4: Saturday
#1: The highlight of my weekend was definitely Saturday night. I went out and had drinks with 3 girls that were my best friends in high school, the 4 of us were together all the time. We got ourselves in a lot of trouble but we usually always had a fun time doing it. It was so much fun talking about all the old days and the silly (and stupid) things that we used to do. It's nice to know that even after the good and the bad times we went through together, we can all sit around together as adults, and laugh at the old days. I love those girls and they will always have a special place in my heart.

#2: This is not something I am just now realizing but there are times that it stands out to me more than usual. I am really blessed to have such an amazing husband. Not only does he love me with everything in him but he is also very easy. I know what you are probably thinking, "Did she just call her husband easy??" Yes, yes I did. Let me explain. Alex trusts me completely, which makes things while he is deployed very easy. I can go out with my friends, girls and boys, without him getting upset with me or lecturing me at all. I can have guy friends without him getting jealous or accusing me of doing anything wrong. He trusts me and knows that I would never in a million years do anything to hurt him or ruin our marriage. He also is not the arguing type at all which makes life pretty easy also. If I get upset about something that has to do with him I can tell him how I am feeling and he either talks it out with me or looks for a way to fix it. Never once has Alex ever raised his voice at me, called me a name, or said anything mean to me. That for me is a HUGE change from what I am used to in relationships. He makes me want to be a better person. I am not the easiest girl to date but with him everything is so simple; I don't get jealous, I don't get angry with him, and I don't ever feel like I need to work at keeping him in love with me. He is the best person I know. Don't get me wrong, our marriage is not perfect, no ones is, but it is pretty easy....for now :)

#3: I got a comment on facebook on Saturday that really touched my heart and this is what it said: "I just wanted to tell you that you and your husband are quite possibly the cutest thing ever! :) Its such a breath of fresh air to see people so much in love. I love it! :) deployments are hard, I've been through a few myself, but you will make it through easy as pie :) keep your good attitude and a smile on your face!" It brought tears to my eyes. This girl is someone that I have known for a very long time but not someone that I talk to all the time. I think that is why it meant so much to me. She took the time out of her day to go to my page and write me a comment letting me know she was thinking about me. It really meant a lot to me and it definitely brought a smile to my face.

As of right now here are the stats : 3 Good, 1 Bad, and 2 Sick. I'm winning!!! Today is day 7 and once I get home from Zumba I will tell you what category it is going to fall under. Also, since I didn't write anything for days 5 and 6, I will tell you a funny story about something that happened to me a few days ago, I know that some of you will be able to relate to it. I have to get ready to go to Zumba now though.

I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend and please don't forget that no matter hard things might be getting, God will never give you anything He doesn't know you can handle.

Project Smile: Day 3...Sorry It's Late!

As much as I would love to say that Day 3 was a total success along with days 2 and 1, it wasn't. I'm not going to lie to you guys, I said I would honestly tell you if my project is working or not and yesterday it just didn't work. There were a couple highlights of the day but overall it wasn't very good. I'll tell you the couple of good things that went right though.

Highlight #1: I LOVE cooking but for some reason I only like to cook for my husband. I don't cook much while I am at my parents house, as much as I love them, but for some reason I don't get the same joy out of cooking for them that I do when I cook for Alex. Yesterday though, I decided to cook for my in-laws. Needless to say, I was a little worried. I love Alex because no matter what I cook for him, he eats it and he tells me he loves it, even though sometimes I know he really doesn't. So I don't really know if my cooking is as good as he says it is. I made a chicken and noodle dish that a good friend in Ft. Campbell taught me how to make, and since neither my MIL or DIL threw up, I think it was a success :) I really enjoyed making it for them. Afterward, my mother-in-law and I had a much needed heart to heart and mended some ties that desperately needed mending. Although I write a lot about my personal life on here, this part is just between her and I. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders though and I am already feeling a lot less stressed than I have been the last couple of months.

Highlight #2: I am not a huge fan of going to the movies anymore, I can't stand how much they cost even with military discount. Yesterday though, 2 of my best girlfriends asked me to go see "No Strings Attached" with them and I accepted. I'm not going to lie, it was by far one of the funniest movies I have seen in a very long time. My girlfriends and I were laughing the entire time, and not just like a little giggle here and there. I mean full on laughing out loud. I highly recommend everyone go and see it!

Both of those things were pretty great but the rest of the day flat out sucked. There have been things that I have been struggling with lately and they have really been getting to me. I've learned though that the best way to deal with a problem is to face it head on, so that's what I did today. That's for today's blog though so you'll have to wait for that story. As of right now though, I am going to give you a little sneak peak and say that Project Smile: Day 4 has been an AWESOME success. You're going to have to wait for the details on that one though. Until then, I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and staying safe!!

Remember to SMILE !! :)

Project Smile: Day 2

#1: Who wouldn't smile waking up to this adorable little face?? I have 2 of the best dogs ever, they might not always be the best behaved but I love them so much. This picture is of my pitbull Karma (aka Karmie, Charmie, Karmalaid, or Mammas). My family rescued her a few years ago & she has been living with us ever since. She is by far the sweetest, most loving dog in the world. Not violent at all, for all of those who think ALL pitbulls are terrible dogs. She had a lot of energy though and she will lick your face off. I also have a siberian husky named Diesel that my hubby bought me 6 years ago. He's the love of my life and absolutely gorgeous. If you couldn't tell I am a HUGE dog lover. One of my favorite things ever is waking up in the morning when Karma is sleeping with me, I love that she has to be cuddled up right next to me and usually she has her head lying on my pillow as well. So today when I was lying in my bed and I looked over and saw this little face sticking out of the blanket, it definitely made me smile :)

#2: I LOVE putting together care packages. Something about knowing I am helping bring a little color into such a dark place makes me feel really good. I love going to the grocery store and picking out goodies and toys that I think Alex will like, it is a very rewarding feeling. He loves getting boxes and although I really wouldn't want to be in Afghanistan, part of me would love to be there just to see the smile on his face when we gets a package. Today I am putting together a box that I will be sending off tomorrow. Here are a few of things I am going to include in the box: the CD of pictures I just had taken for him for Valentine's Day, a copy of our marriage certificate, brownies, dip, cigarettes, candy, and a set of earphones he asked me to send. I am sure I will add more stuff but for now that is it. I can't wait for him to get the pictures :) I KNOW he is going to love them!! Part of my favorite thing about putting together packages is baking goodies and hand making some of the items out in it. I also love the look on the cashiers face when I go into a liquor store and ask for a log of dip and a carton of cigarettes. They look at me like I am crazy. So bottom line, doing something that I know makes my man happy, ultimately makes me happy also.

#3: ZUMBA!! I can not even begin to explain to you how happy Zumba makes me. I do not like going to the gym and lifting weights or running on the treadmill, it bores me. But Zumba is amazing and so much fun. It's a mixture between salsa, belly dancing, and hip hop. I feel better about myself after class and I am actually sleeping better at night. Not to mention I sweat my butt off at every class so I know for sure I am losing weight. I highly suggest everyone looks for a local Zumba class in your area. I promise that you will enjoy it.

Looks like I am 2 for 2 :) Today has been pretty good. I took the day off of life and did nothing all day. I stayed home, in my pajamas, and just did stuff around the house. It felt amazing. I got stuff put together for Alex's care package, played with my dogs, and got some important stuff mailed out. I don't work so it's not like my life is stressful by any means, but sometimes I feel like I am running errands everyday and there is always something I have to get done. So today it was nice to just do nothing. Everyone deserves a day like that. I am happy to say that Project Smile: Day 2 was also a success :) Wooohooo....that just made me smile!!

Project Smile: Day 1

#1: I have the most AMAZING friends in the world, I don't know how I became so blessed. There are about 7 girls that I am really close with & I can't imagine my life without them. Even though there are a couple of them who live far away from me, my life is still constantly changing for the better just by having them in my life. Growing up I was a major tomboy so I was into playing outside, video games, and sports. Even though I eventually grew out of wearing boys clothes, my personality never changed. I would much rather shoot a gun than get my nails done. So needless to say, I have always had more guy friends than girls. I never knew what I was missing out on though. Having best girlfriends is so wonderful. I am constantly amazed by my girls: their strength, love, and compassion keeps me believing that there are still good people left in this world. And I am lucky enough to have 7 GREAT girls in my life. These are girls I know I will be friends with for the rest of my life and knowing that makes me smile :) Thank you God for blessing me with each one of them.

#2: My hubby is silly. No matter what kind of mood I am in, he has this amazing way of making me smile, even if he doesn't mean to. Recently I had some "sexy" pictures taken for him (google "boudoir photography", it is so much fun and your man will love it) for a Valentine's Day present. Well I am HORRIBLE at keeping secrets from him and I am even worse about hiding surprises. So I sent him one picture as a little sneak peak. In this picture I am wearing his uniform top with nothing under it and I have his dogtags in my mouth in a seductive sort of way. In my opinion, it's a pretty sexy picture. Well, this morning I am woken up at the crack of dawn to Alex writing me on yahoo messenger. He tells me that he got my email and downloaded the picture I sent him. I am expecting him to tell me he loves or it that it's hot...you know, something along those lines. I was wrong. The first thing he says to me is "Are you eating an Oreo?" Hahaha. I tell him "An Oreo? Really babe? No, those are your dogtags. There is nothing sexy about eating an Oreo." His response is, "Babe, if you are naked you could be eating a pile of corn and it would be sexy." LOL. I was dying laughing. I sure love him.

#3: I live in Washington and let me just tell you that I love this state more than anywhere I have ever lived, which has been a lot of states. Washington and Oregon are a color of green that you will never see anywhere else in the US, it is just simply BEAUTIFUL. But with that gorgeous green comes the reason it is so bright and vibrant, rain. It rains here a lot and a lot is probably an understatement. Once you live here long enough you get used to it though. During the fall/winter is when it rains the most around here and a full day of sunshine is a rare occasion but today it was sunny ALL DAY. It was so beautiful, a little chilly, but still gorgeous: big fluffy clouds, brights colors, and a nice big sun. Being able to see the sun all day definitely made me smile and it also made me appreciate the little things in life.

So for the most part, today was a pretty great day. I woke up to my hubby messaging me, the sun was shining, and I got to hang out with some of my very favorite people in the world. Project Smile Day 1 was a success :) I'll be completely honest though, as I am laying in bed right now (2:13am), some things are getting to me. It has nothing to do with Alex being gone though. They are fixable problems and I fully intend on getting it all figured out. The number of things I have to be grateful for far out number the things that are bothering me. So all in all, I still believe that my project was successful today.

Project Smile

This week has one of those weeks that I feel like the world is personally attacking me every day. Have you ever seen those cartoons where a small rain cloud follows directly above a certain person? Well lately, that person is me. Can someone PLEASE just cut me a break?! Well, when it rains it pours right? Wrong. Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain. (Like how I tied in two quotes there? I do.)

So now what, sit and sulk? Curl up in a ball and let the dark clouds win? No. You have to take charge and realize that the only thing that controls your mood, your day, and your life, is you. I have learned that life is all about choices, my choices. I choose what I wear, who I talk to, where I go, and what I do. So who’s to say what kind of mood I am going to be in? No monthly gift, unaligned stars, or rainy day is going to tell me how to feel today.

Yes, my husband is deployed. I miss him more than words can explain and I would love more than anything in the world to just go to sleep and wake up the day he comes home, but the real world doesn’t work like that. It is impossible to speed up time, trust me, I have tried. The world doesn’t stop when he is gone, although at times I feel like my world has come to a screeching halt, the real world is still spinning. So the best thing that I can think of to pass the time till he is home is to allow my world to continue, jump on the crazy ride called my life, and enjoy it. Starting now.

If you don’t like something in your life or the direction something is going, change it. If it is something you can’t change, change your outlook on it. Everything has 2 sides, a good and a bad, although we don’t always see it that way. It’s human nature to look at the negative side of a “negative situation”. Try looking at things from a different point of view. Example: Your loved one is deployed. You have every reason to be sad and depressed. Now look at it this way: Do you know how lucky you are to have found an amazing man? Someone who loves you and wants to be with you and only you? Some people search their whole lives for the one person they are meant to be with, you’re lucky enough to have found him. So smile, be happy, and enjoy your life. Even though he is far away and missing him hurts, it would hurt a lot more to not have him in your life at all right? See how I did that? Changing your outlook on things can make a situation do a complete 180 and it will do the same thing to your mood. So don’t dwell on the negative, choose to bask in the positive.

This is my new goal: everyday for the next 10 days I am going to write down 3 things that I have in my life that make me happy, reasons I have to smile, and things I have to be grateful for. I am going to call it “Project Smile” and I encourage you all to do the same thing. I am going to blog it all too and at the end of the day I am going to tell you (truthfully) how I am feeling, whether I am still sad or if Project Smile actually worked that day.

PS: This applies to EVERYONE. Not just people who have a loved one overseas. Everyone has struggles in their lives, so I encourage everyone, no matter what your situation is, to try this also.

Wish me luck :)